How Body Shaming Changed My Life.

I’ve been insecure about my body since I was a pre-teen. Every time I looked in the mirror all I saw was flaws. My mind was constantly focused on the negative aspects of my body, I thought about it 24/7. The walls of my bedroom were covered with photos of my “dream body” or inspirational images of photoshopped models who, honestly, made me feel worse about myself. My body image turned into a toxic obsession.

As I entered high school, I was at a normal weight for a girl my age. Quickly, I lost my friends and found myself falling into a deep depression that would take years to defeat. I desperately tried to keep my depression under wraps by wearing a fake smile everywhere I went. It caught up to me and I found myself having a breakdown on the bus home one day. I went home and asked my mom to take me to the doctor. I gained over one hundred pounds by my senior year and was taking medicine for severe anxiety and depression. High school was hell. I was taunted in the halls by other students who only judged from my appearance, not knowing what their comments would do my self-esteem. Graduation was the best day of my life.

After graduating high school, making new friends and doing things on my own, I realized that things get better. One day I just realized that I have wasted so much time hating myself and I didn’t want to do that anymore. I should be happy. I regret that I spent all my time trying to “diet” and change for the acceptance of others. My body may not be the healthiest and I’ve accepted that, but I will not lock myself away and hide from the bullies. Of course there are times when I still get down about my appearance, it happens to the best of us. I still love myself for who I am, who I was and who I will be.

“Body shaming” has become an easy way for bullies to make others feel horrible about themselves. Trust me, I’ve dealt with it and so have others. The thing is behind every body-shamer is an insecure person. We all have flaws and I have accepted mine. I’m happy with the body I have and I am in love with the person I have become. I have to thank all the body-shamers, because if it wasn’t for you I probably would not be as strong as I am today.

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TGIF.

I’m so happy that it is Friday. After a long day at work, I’m finally at home kicked backing watching tv. I’m really hoping that I can keep up with this blog. I’ve attempted to blog before, but I have issues with dedication and motivation. Sometimes, I feel like it’s pointless to even blog and I won’t write for months. I’m not going to do that with this blog, I want it to be a continuous project for myself. It’s not only beneficial to my dream of being a writer, but it’s also an emotionally healing process. It is nice to have an outlet and people who are willing to listen. Thank you for reading.

This weekend will be pretty busy. I have to pack up my whole apartment and start deep cleaning every inch of it. This is when I wish I had a roommate. Plus, it’s just kind of sad to be moving out, but I know that I’m only helping myself in the long run. If you’ve ever moved out, please give me some tips on how to clean efficiently!!

Hope you all have a great weekend!

-Amy

Being Plus Size While In Your 20’s

When you’re a plus size woman you already have people who are against you. Even if you’re just a woman you already have people who are against you. We have to live our day-to-day lives proving to everyone that we can make it as women, let alone plus size women. The words “plus size” taunt us and follow us throughout everything we do in life. It’s not just fashion, it’s “plus size” fashion. It’s not just dating, it’s dating a “plus size” woman. It may feel like a curse, but sometimes it can be a blessing in disguise. Being plus size and in your twenties is tough. We’re still trying to discover who we truly are, while also learning to love our bodies. Here are some of the things I’ve learned about being a plus size woman trying to get through my twenties.

1. Self Acceptance Is Key
The only way to become confident with yourself is to accept yourself for who you are. Trust me, I had a negative voice in my head that followed me around for years until I decided to love myself for who I was. This is the body I was given so I will love my body for how it is. I understand there are things I could change and maybe I’m working on that, but I’m not going to let it control how I live my life. My happiness should not revolve around the number that reads on the scale. My happiness should revolve around family, friends, trips, jobs and regular life experiences. If you can accept yourself then the doors to happiness will suddenly open.

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2. Men Will Come and Go
Do not let men hold you back! Do not let men make you feel guilty or anxious for how you look! If they cannot accept you and your curves then they need to go. Some men assume they have this right to tell us what we need to change about our appearance or how we need to dress, but they need a reality check. If a man is controlling every aspect of your life and how you feel about yourself, get out of the relationship as soon as you can before things get really bad! I’m not saying that every relationship you get in will be like this, but sometimes when it comes to plus size women, men want them to lose weight and change for them. Also, don’t feel like you can’t have fun! Take time in your twenties to date and experience different types of people and relationships! Just be careful and enjoy it!

3. Take Chances
Your twenties is the time to get out there and explore! Sometimes, it is easy to stay in and keep to yourself, but from personal experience I encourage you to take chances. I’ve always been scared to do something because of my weight. I’m afraid if people will laugh or stare or talk about me. Don’t let fears or opinions of others hold you back from doing what interests you (unless it’s really dangerous, obviously). This is the time of your life to become who you want to be. This is the time to date, travel, meet new people, get established with a career and pave a path leading up to your thirties.

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4. Be Your Own Influence
Social Media tends to be a large part of our daily lives. We spend hours texting, scrolling through feeds on Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, etc. A large part of our culture is based off of what we see on our feeds. There are a lot of young girls who are trying to be like who they see online. Kylie Jenner, Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus and so many other young women are dominating social media. Instead of trying to be like someone else, try to be like yourself! Influence and inspire yourself to be different from others! Plus size women need more role models and inspiration! Step out of the crowd and become your own individual.

5. Develop A Support System
Today, it is much easier to find other people who have the same interests as you. You can find people on Instagram, Tumblr and other social media sites. You’re not alone. If you need someone to talk to or if you’re interested in finding people who are more like you then I encourage you to get a Tumblr and meet people on there. Please be safe and do not give out addresses and phone numbers, but have fun! There are a ton of people who are looking for new friends and people to talk to also.

6. Always Put Yourself First
The final and most important thing I’ve learned is to always put yourself first. I’ve spent a lot of time doing all the things for everyone else and barely have done anything for myself. It is rewarding to help others, but sometimes people start to expect that from you. You have to put yourself first sometimes. It’s more important to make sure you’re happy before making others happy. It’s a tough lesson to learn, but your family and friends may not agree with everything you do. You have to teach yourself that this is your life, if you feel it’s right and you really want to do something then do it. Your happiness is more important than anyone else’s.

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This is the time of your life to enjoy it and have fun. It’s time to try new things and meet new people! Don’t let your appearance or opinions of others hold you back. Being a plus size woman in modern time is tough. We have a lot more to deal with, but we are also showing everyone else how confident and strong we are! Have fun and stay safe!

Do you have any advice for plus size women surviving their twenties? Comment below and don’t forget to follow!

 

 

Top 5 Songs of 2016 (So Far)

Music is a part of my daily routine. It’s what sets my mood for the whole and I tend express my emotions through the music I am listening to. Here are my top five songs of 2016 so far! Enjoy!

1. Running Behind- HOLYCHILD

2. Hard Out Here- Lily Allen

3. NoLo-Grace Mitchell

4. I’m Legit- Nicki Minaj feat. Ciara

5. Electric Love- BØRNS

Welcome!

Hi there,

My name is Amy and welcome to my blog! My blog is a lifestyle blog where I will talk about the struggles and also reality of living a plus sized life. There are pros and cons, but that’s why I’ve decided to open up my life to anyone who wants to read about it. My goals for 2016 is to get out of my comfort zone. I want to do different things with my hair, makeup, fashion and daily life. I want to live my life how I’ve always wanted to despite my body size. I’ve accepted myself and I’m trying to help others get to that point in their life.

There are a few things you may need to know. If you are a negative reader, who is here only to hate you can click on that little ‘x’ on the tab. I do not respond to negativity and I’ll simply delete you and block you. I don’t need to hear from you about the changes I need to make in my life. There is no hating here! Please keep your “healthy lifestyle” opinions to yourself unless I ask for your opinion.

I’m here to show other plus sized women that no matter what your body looks like you can do what you want. You can wear what you want. You can say what you want. Weight doesn’t define who you truly are.

Feel free to send me a message and say hi! I love meeting new people! Also, don’t forget to follow!